It’s my Christmas and I will cry if I want to

With 2 days to go I thought I would write whilst I’m not in an overwhelming emotional state.

I always find myself asking the question how can anyone be so cruel, so cruel infact knowing full well that it would destroy me, you, us?

I don’t know why ask him to his face he could never say I wasn’t a good Mum, my kids were my everything and still are.

Oh through this year I’ve sent them presents with no response not even a thank you this is not the way I bought my kids that were never brought up to be rude, disrespectful but remember that with my kids he would often say I never wanted them. Never ever was I out fucking other men. Whilst he my ex I’m sure could do a list that wouldnt be short.

What in God’s name did he brainwash them with, I’ll probably never know because it would show the lies, the lies that made his life more comfortable knowing I was gone,destroyed.

Everyone makes mistakes In life nobody’s perfect not even him or that he will have you think you goes close, The things I don’t have a part from my kids, I do not have a criminal record, I’m not a child molester, I’m not a murderer, I’m not a rapist, SO FOR FUCKS SAKE.

I’ve had my vent, Yeah wow Christmas I didn’t send them anything for Christmas because I believe that should be on the naughty list for the rude and disrespectful behavior.

And me my doctor gave me a few extra Valium but I have to wake up at some point so I have with the help of veterans counseling service emergency plan distraction go to the hospital if I need to, watch drop dead Fred maybe I can have my imaginary friend but most importantly stay alive for those who are reading this If you just believe that 2018 can’t be any worse than 2017 and promise me that you too will stay alive it’s so hard I know but together I know we can make it into thousand and 18 I’m going to get my soul back, my heart however lies in the hands of my three children and only they can give it back to me.

And just quickly are there any lawyers in Australia that would represent a case of PTSD inflicted by a narcissistic ex-husband if he had of beat me up he probably would of gone to jail,instead he inflicted the worst kind of trauma a parent can go through and if there are any lawyers out there I’ll bide my time till there I have all the medical facts and that all point to him, I often read mental abuse is treated the same as physical yet where is the help I need To set a precedence I our courts.

Author: my3littleducksnevercameback

A mum destroyed, I can't find a happy place in my heart or mind it never gets easier.. 6 years on and the pain I just can't take anymore.

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