I had a great childhood, sure mum and dad fought doesn’t everyone.. But the things I remember most clearly mum and dad both worked hard, my dad was a bit of a grumpy bugger and mum worked night shift so she was always tired. My brother and I never went without.. My dad thou always home for dinner and we are as a family it’s a fond memory, my ex husband was rarely home for dinner and why should I question the why maybe I should of but I was always where I wanted to be at home with my kids, being the mum I always wanted to be. I put the bandaids on invisible wounds, I counted how many peas had to be eaten before leaving the table, I would read bedtime stories, I would wipe snot from their noses with my hand, I taught them to tie their shoelaces, brush their teeth, the list could just keep going, my daughter never called me mummy it was Mumma she would hold onto my trousers and have one finger up her nose as a toddler because she was very shy and only wanted me.
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My 3 little ducks are my children Shayne, Zachary and Geogia. Divorce hit me hard but not as hard as a man I had known for 20 years a man I would later find out had other women throughout our whole marriage, a man who said he never wanted children a man who would always say u wanted them u deal with them. Often referring to my oldest child as idiot or stupid. This man was also motivated by boys toys and money his child support bill was alot he would then do the unthinkable my children brainwashed, they walked out my door one day telling me they loved me to telling me they never wanted to see me again. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday my daughter made the call.
I was in shock I remember the tears Rolling down my cheeks. This was 6 years ago it’s destroyed me in every way. It’s the first time I had heard the word narcissist, it was then I knew I had been living with one for almost 20 years, the dictionary definition described my ex husband perfectly and I never knew.
He has gone on to remarry have another child. I went on a road of self destruction the pain was just intolerable, I would of preferred a diagnosis of cancer at least there is medication for the pain.